Karuna: Practicing Compassion
“Dear one, I know you are suffering, that is why I am here for you.”
Karuna, meaning compassion, is a powerful practice that can deeply enrich our relationships with our children. It creates attachment that forms the foundation of your relationship now and well into the future. Karuna invites us to recognize their struggles, validate their emotions, and respond with patience and understanding. Practicing compassion in parenting transforms everyday moments into opportunities for connection and growth.
Deep Looking
At its core, Karuna involves the practice of "deep looking," an intentional effort to understand the nature of our children’s emotions and challenges. Parenting through compassion begins when we pause to truly see our children as they are, beyond their behavior or words. By cultivating understanding of their experiences (rather than fixing it), we create a foundation of trust and emotional safety. Through meditation, we learn to connect with our own struggles, acknowledging how they shape our responses to others. By understanding our pain, we develop the capacity to deeply and genuinely connect with the suffering of those around us.
Presence is a Miracle
Compassion in parenting is not passive—it is an active choice to be present, especially when our children face emotions they don’t understand and cannot yet articulate. In these moments, there is no need to name or guess the suffering. Don’t ask about it. Don’t try to fix it. Don’t minimize. Don’t give a pep talk. Listen deeply to their emotions and affirm their feelings so they feel heard and supported. Your presence is a miracle and so precious to your children. Just be with them.
By practicing Karuna, we nurture a mindful, attentive connection with our children. Compassion creates a safe space for them to express themselves, heal from their struggles, and grow into resilient, empathetic individuals. In parenting, Karuna is not just a principle—it is a gift we give to our children and ourselves.
Takeaways to Bring Into Your Parenting This Week
Practical ways to embody Karuna in your parenting journey include:
Pause Before Reacting - When your child is upset, take a moment to breathe, observe, and respond thoughtfully and rather than with reactive trigger emotions. Try this simple mantra to ground yourself, “Dear one, I know you are suffering, that is why I am here for you.”
Validate Their Feelings - Use gentle language to show that their emotions matter. “I see your big emotions—can you help me understand what’s happening for you?” “It’s okay to feel this way; let’s work through it together.”
Be Present and Quiet - Sometimes, simply sitting with them during difficult emotions speaks louder than words. Your presence alone can convey love and support. When they are ready, they will let you know.
Reflection
The next time your child is struggling—or even after an emotional moment—pause and reflect on this question:
“Can I be fully present with their suffering without needing to fix it?”
Take a few breaths and notice what arises within you:
What emotions or sensations do you feel in your body when your child is hurting?
What part of you wants to make it go away, and what part can simply stay?
How might your own experiences of pain or comfort from childhood shape the way you respond now?
Then, gently turn the same compassion toward yourself:
“Dear one, I know you are suffering, that is why I am here for you.”
Sit quietly with that inner voice for a few breaths. Feel how offering compassion to yourself allows more room to extend it to your child.
Remember, Karuna isn’t about taking away the pain—it’s about holding space for healing to unfold in its own time.